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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Characteristics of Adult Children

Author: Unknown

Chemical dependency, and other forms of dysfunctional behavior, effects everyone in the family to some degree. The following are some of the common characteristics found in adult children who were raised in an environment where someone was chemically dependent or displayed other forms of dysfunctional behavior. Not all adult children display each of these characteristics. However, each of us can relate to many of them...

Our self-esteem is low and we feel inadequate.

We build up barriers to protect ourselves from our own insecurities.

We fear rejection and disapproval. We are afraid to reveal our secrets to others because of this fear. We react by creating a mask that makes us feel more acceptable to others.

We feel alone. We feel different from other people.

We believe that our feelings are unique to us and that no one else will understand. So, we hide our real feelings inside.

We have lost the ability to trust other people. We believe that if we trust others that they may hurt us.

We are afraid to trust ourselves or our instincts. We don’t know how.

We withdraw and isolate because of the fear of being hurt.

We are afraid of intimacy and have a hard time forming close relationships.

Our role models showed us conditional love so we tend to show tohers the same kind of conditional love.

We have unreasonable expectations for ourselves and others. We judge ourselves and others without mercy.

We are often critical. We have trouble hearing good or positive things about ourselves or others. It is difficult for us to accept a compliment.

We associate anger with violence or rejection.

We think that showing anger and other strong feelings is a sign of weakness, and we make excuses for those weaknesses. We believe that if we show our weaknesses, we may loose control of the situation, or be hurt by others. So we try to keep our display of emotions very subdued.

We are unable to let go, relax, and have fun. We take ourselves and others very seriously. We develop many stress related illnesses.

We are extremely loyal, even when that loyalty is obviously undeserved.

We are impulsive in our judgments, decisions, and actions.

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